- – - What my friend Gette wrote about me… January 29, 2008
Posted by janargy in Friends Blog.126 comments
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Jan, O Jan Panu Kung Wala Ka? |
Jan 2, ‘08 1:40 AM for everyone |
Dahil hindi ordinaryong tao si Jan sa buhay ko, ipinasya kong sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ay pahirapan ang sarili ko at sumulat sa wikang Filipino, at ang paksa syempre ay walang iba kundi si Jan-Argy Y. Tolentino. Kung isusulat ko kasi ito sa Ingles ay baka wala nang dating kay Jan dahil lahat na nang naibigay kong sulat sa kanya ay nasusulat sa Ingles. Isa pa, ito ay pagpapatunay kung gaano ko siya kamahal dahil napakahirap para sa akin ang magsulat sa Tagalog.
Taong 1993, Hunyo ko nakilala si Jan. Sa apat na sulok ng mainit na silid-aralan sa PUP, sa gitna nang maiingay at makukulit na estudyante madali kong napansin si Jan. Matalino kaya! Actually, oops, sa totoo lang pala, bonus lang yun. Palakaibigan at napakabait na tao ni Jan.
Ano kaya ang buhay ko kung hindi ko nakilala o naging kaibigan si Jan?
Syempre hindi mabubuo yung grupo na tinatawag naming Power Rangers. Ito yung barkada namin nung college pa kami. Ito rin ang pamagat ng isa sa mga kauna-unahan at paborito kong “obra” – “The Power Rangers”. Sabi ko dun, si Jan, na binansagan naming Red 1, siya ang “utak” ng grupo. Taong 1999 ko sinulat yun at gusto kong balikan, may parte dun na sinulat ko “If Red 1 will be extra careful in handling his relationships, he will bag the “most eligble bachelor” title. May pagka Nostra Damus pala ako. Magtatapos na ang taong 2007 , o di ba, siya nga ang Most Eligible Bachelor!
Kung hindi ko nakilala si Jan, hindi siguro ako naging KALIPI. Mas malamang nakikibaka ako sa lungsod o kaya nama’y nagtatago sa kanayunan.
Kung hindi ko naging kaibigan si Jan, wala sigurong mag-aabot sa akin ng 300 pesos dahil sa nalaman na buntis na ako, at wala na kong dapat sabihin pa. Matalino talaga si Jan, alam nyang wala akong pambili ng Clusivol-OB!
Kung wala si Jan, lalo sigurong napakadilim ng pinagdaanan ko dati. Pero dahil andun si Jan ng panahong iyon, sapat na para maramdaman kong mabuting tao pa rin ako dahil hindi niya ako iniwanan.
Sa unang pagkakataon, gusto kong malaman ni Jan na siya ang nagturo sa akin ng humility o kababaang-loob. Kung bakit, dapat alam na iyon ng lahat ng mga nakakakilala sa kanya.
Kung wala si Jan sa buhay ko, hindi ko siguro masyadong maiintindihan ang kahulugan ng isang “free spirit.”
Marami pa, marami pang hindi ko nalaman, hindi ko naintindihan, hindi ko naramdaman, marami pang pwedeng idagdag, kung hindi ko naging kaibigan si Jan.
Pero sabi nga, mapaglaro ang buhay. Swerte ko dahil naging matalik ko siyang kaibigan, at kung totoo ngang mapaglaro ang buhay, si Jan ang naging pinaka-”game” kong kalaro.
Maligayang-maligayang kaarawan sa iyo! Hindi ko alam kung ano ka sa buhay ng iba. Siguro, higit pa sa mga halimbawang sinulat ko rito. At dahil doon, natutuwa ako, dahil madami pala kaming pinagpala!!
(Grabe, ang hirap nito)
written on 30 December 2007, Jan’s birthday
(Thank you so much Gette!!! All for a friend! mwah!)
- – - What your Boss DONT want you to be January 21, 2008
Posted by janargy in lessons in work.85 comments
You’re relatively new to the workforce and you’re eager to make a positive impression on your boss. That’s a great attitude to have, but it isn’t enough.
The truth is that when you enter the professional world, you bring some personal habits that may or may not please the boss. And it’s likely that you lack the proper perspective to know the difference.The office environment functions according to well-established and preordained routines. It relies on patterns, systems, cycles, and procedures for it to run efficiently. Such an atmosphere engenders various habits in everyone — a fact that’s as easy to forget as it is imperative to remember. As you meander about the office, trying to get a footing, it would be wise to remember that good habits generally require an effort to develop, whereas bad habits germinate in their absence.
Before it all becomes too familiar to you, learn the kinds of habits bosses hate so you can avoid developing them in the first place.
You don’t show initiative
No boss wants the burden of having to chronically tell you what to do. It’s time-consuming, exhausting and he’ll lose confidence in your abilities. It’s a manner that is lazy and it’s one of those habits bosses hate. Don’t wait to be told what to do, particularly during downtime. Your boss would rather see that you’ve taken the initiative to alphabetize a filing cabinet than surf the web when things are slow.When you give the impression that you’re unmotivated, you send a clear message of disinterest to your boss. Your boss probably has a lot invested in his job, so one of the last things he wants to see or hear from you is a lack of regard toward, or affection for, your job.
You show too much initiative
On the other hand, you should also be concerned with showing too much initiative. It doesn’t matter if it stems from excessive ambition, motivation, energy, or even a basic desire to please, it’s one of many habits bosses hate. Be careful not to overdo tasks and assignments; it’s generally unnecessary. Instead of giving the impression that you’re hard-working and creative, it has the potential for seeming inefficient: Why bother adding colors and graphs to a research assignment when that time would have been better spent getting on with other work?
An additional danger of showing too much initiative is in showing disrespect toward the office hierarchy. When you go above and beyond the call of duty, there’s a chance that you’ll step on some toes.
You make excuses
This is one of the most annoying habits bosses hate. If you give him an excuse, it means that you overlooked some responsibility and are now offering a defense on your own behalf for that oversight. “I didn’t get the research done because I had a flat tire and by the time I got home it was really late.”
Whether or not that statement is true, what your boss hears is: “It’s not my fault; a flat tire absolved me of responsibility.” Your boss will be less focused on what you actually said and more on what you imply.
Ultimately, you should know the difference between an excuse and an explanation. By definition, the former seeks exemption from blame, while the latter seeks clarity from confusion. The unnecessary details that typically subsidize an excuse only create more confusion; they do not address the fundamental point, which is your mistake. And when you address your mistake — by acknowledging it and by taking steps to correct it — it’s the only thing your boss cares about and it’s the only thing you should expect him to care about.Finally, resist the urge to embellish on an excuse or to flat out fabricate one. It may seem like the solution for getting you out of a jam, but you will have created another issue for which to be accountable.
You complain
Moaning, b*tching and whining are all reasonable synonyms for complaining. And no one, especially your boss, has any interest in hearing them; it’s just one of those habits bosses hate.Just because your boss has worked there a while and earns more money, doesn’t mean that he’s any happier about some aspects of the job, such as staying late. He has a life too, and he knows which office situations are unpleasant without getting a reminder from you. It is in your best interest to avoid such phrases as: “God this sucks” or “I was supposed to meet someone an hour ago.”Before you open your mouth, know the difference between a complaint and a critique. Complaints are personal and anyone can complain. Critiques require an effort because they tend to be constructive, meaning they aim to correct something. If the comment about to leave your mouth does not feature a proposed solution, if it’s so banal it could not even support a solution (“It’s only three o’clock? This is the longest day ever!”), save it for happy hour, your girlfriend or your blog.
You ask too many questions
Naturally, it’s not a bad thing to ask questions, especially when you’re trying to clarify tasks before taking them on. In fact, asking questions should be encouraged. Asking too many questions, especially too many stupid questions, is among the habits bosses hate and can quickly become aggravating. To begin, they are a fundamental waste of the boss’ time and an emblem of inefficiency. They also reflect very poorly on you, your intelligence and on the perceptions others will develop about you. A manager will think twice before assigning you an important job, remembering how the last time you practically needed someone to hold your hand all the way through.
The bottom line is that bosses value employees who are resourceful enough to figure some things out on their own.
Without exception, there’s a motif running through these habits bosses hate: These habits tend to devour space and time in the life of your boss that aren’t yours to occupy. By squandering his time you have delayed him elsewhere — and he’ll likely remember the reason why.You’ll find that some people, even longtime veterans of the workforce, continue to exhibit the kinds of habits bosses hate. Don’t be surprised if those are the same people who also complain about the company’s glass ceilings, how they fail to encourage their employees and how rarely they give raises.
- – - What your Boss wants you to be January 21, 2008
Posted by janargy in lessons in work.60 comments
You show accountability
Your boss has more to do than ensure that your work gets done accurately and on time; he has his own work to do and he has a boss who holds him accountable to that work as well as the work you do. When you deliver on, or before, deadlines and produce results, you contribute to the smooth, efficient workings of the office without drawing negative attention to yourself.Accountability also means that you take responsibility for your failures as much as you would for your successes. To that end, this touches on one of the habits bosses hate — making excuses. A boss understands that some situations are beyond anyone’s control, but the difference is made in how you react to those situations. Accountable people don’t offer excuses — period. Rather, they do what needs to be done — and that’s why accountability is one of the habits bosses love.
You’re prepared
A maxim attributed to Roman dramatist Seneca the Younger suggests that luck or success is the outcome of preparation meeting opportunity. This sentiment can be found among an assortment of other quotes and proverbial sayings, giving it the credence of centuries.What does it mean, and how is it applicable? Any time that you’re scheduled to participate in a meeting, whether it’s as big as a conference or as small as a one-on-one with your boss, you should enter the situation armed to the teeth with as much pertinent information as you can find. By “pertinent” we mean relevant to that particular meeting, to your position in the company and to the industry as a whole. Habits bosses love come in many shapes and forms, but when he doesn’t have to hold your hand and explain new concepts or strategies to you, because you stay abreast of your position and industry, he’ll make you his star employee.Bosses appreciate employees who are prepared for a variety of reasons: it shows dedication, self-motivation and confidence — three factors that happen to play a huge role in getting you promoted.
You work smart
There are only so many hours in the workday, and your boss shouldn’t expect anything more out of you than to make the most of those hours. Efficiency is one of the many, and most important, habits bosses love. You would benefit greatly if you learn to maximize your time. You can learn this skill with a course in time management, where you will learn to comprehend the working difference between efficiency and effectiveness. Part of that difference is in taking the time to do those things well that require time, as opposed to simply ”getting them done.”
Working late does not necessarily give your boss the impression that you’re working hard. In fact, the more common perception is that you’re working with some degree of inefficiency. If you need extra time to get work done, you’ll make a better impression if you come to work early.
You stay current
Staying current — in news, technologies and skill sets — is always beneficial, but it is all the more urgent in today’s fast-paced business climate. Sign up for e-mail alerts and newsletters pertinent to your industry and keep an eye out for classes you can take to keep your skill set current. While a few professions require annual competency exams, the majority do not, and anyone can quickly become out-dated due to rapidly progressing technologies.Staying current is one of the habits bosses love because it shows him that you’re motivated, intelligent, interested, and self-confident. If you can suggest new and emerging ideas to apply to your current profession, you help keep your employer on the cutting edge, you make your boss look like a genius for hiring you, and you come out looking phenomenal in the process.
You make them look good
This is something of a catch-all category, one that can be achieved on some level by adopting all of the previously listed habits bosses love and striving to eliminate the hated ones. But it doesn’t end there. In trying to make the boss look good, there is a huge potential to be perceived as a kiss-ass — a perception that won’t help you at any stage in the course of your career. In short, no one likes a suck-up, and no one has liked them since first meeting the teacher’s pet in grammar school. Bosses are not bound to find this behavior appealing because of the way it reflects on them, and for this same reason, they’re not likely to reward it.Therefore, learn to resist the urge to trumpet your successes. Rather, take satisfaction in the knowledge that these successes are scoring you points with the higher-ups, and that you’ll be rewarded accordingly.
There’s no denying that these features on workplace habits advocate a degree of conformity within the workplace. But it is far less about blind, mechanical conformity and more about learning to successfully adapt to the situation around you — a trait that, once developed, has applications that go well beyond the workplace.
- – - After Break-ups… January 7, 2008
Posted by janargy in Love.189 comments
What do I do after a break-up…
I travel abroad…
I meet with friends that I havent seen for a long time…
Videoke!…
walk! walk! walk!…
think of nasty things about my ex (hehehe, pure thoughts no action)…
eat…
drink (water, beer, alcohol, et. al)…
threesome (whatever that is)…
FYI, I heard that January is the break up month, maybe *!@holes wants their gifts first before breaking up. So what’s your breakup behavior? What do you do to get over a nasty breakup?
How to Survive Break-ups by the Relationship Journalist January 7, 2008
Posted by janargy in Love.102 comments
- a shoulder to cry on
- a voice of reason
- damage control (in case you get the urge to contact your ex)
- the bright side
Tips for assembling the perfect Boo-Hoo Crew
- Include only those friends who are loving and supportive.
- Exclude any so-called friends who might say things like “I told you so,” brag about their own relationship, or ask if they can call your ex (in fact, dump these “friends” immediately!).
- Do not include any mutual friends who might report back to your ex on your progress (and/or dish about your setbacks).
The Boo-Hoo Crew code of honor
Breaking Someone’s Heart by the Relationship Journalist January 7, 2008
Posted by janargy in Love.106 comments
Don’t: Call, email, text or visit your ex in a moment of weakness
Even though you brought on the breakup, there may still be times when you miss your ex. A song might come on the radio that reminds you of them. Something funny will happen and you’ll want to share it. Or maybe you’re just having a bad day and want to reach out and reconnect.
Do: Ask friends for help
Your Boo-Hoo Crew should always know (and be able to remind you) why your ex wasn’t good for you then, and why they’re definitely not worth pining over now.
Don’t: Second-guess your decision
Do: See your breakup for what it really is
By walking away from that wrong relationship, you’re headed towards a life that’s more honest and authentic for you. What better way to eventually attract your perfect partner than by living and loving your own life?
Don’t: Badmouth your ex
Do: Become a breakup rock star